I'm exhausted. What have I gotten myself into? Sometimes I really don't know. I've thought long n hard before coming to this decision but then till now when things gets tiring I'll ask myself 'what have I gotten myself into'? I've been struggling to keep up with tutorials and no I've not been doing readings which I've resolved to do so before school starts but now I simply don't have the time.
I reach home v late everyday and usually too exhausted to read my notes before doing my tutorials so tutorials are not done if I get v frustrated just looking at it, too tired to want to decipher it. When this happens I feel v bad. I feel guilty towards smf. Though there is no minimum grades to attain (at least not explicitly stated) but I feel that I should at least maintain a reasonable result in order to face them. I've not done brilliantly last 2 sems but still average.. but compared to all my classmates (not only prc) I feel bad. This sems modules are more xiong yet I've less time for it. I also feel there is a need for me to perform as there is no bond attached to smf. With the backing from the smf name, I still need decent grades. The name is just a stepping stone I believe. I still remember 1 qn that the interviewer asked back then was what do I think the smf name will do for me when I grad and my answer back then still stands.
But then I feel that I should not give up this opportunity since it is presented to me thus I made this decision. I don't want to look back after 4 years to only remember going for lessons and nothing else. Is it me or is it more difficult this year? We're all trying to revamp the image. Trying very hard to ensure we succeed coz we know out there some people are waiting to pouch if anything flops. Please tell me I've made a correct decision.
And no, you don't really have to respond. In fact save your words of cosolation if you intend to tag me. I'm just talking to myself here, just need to materialize some thoughts. Since I've made this decision, I'll not regret.
Bonkers @ 9/03/2006 12:15:00 PM
