Recently I have so many random thought and random things that I want to blog about. Thoughts that came into my head while travelling to n fro work. Little things that happen to or around me. But then I'm too tired or have forgotten about them by the time I want to blog.
Something seems to be missing in life right now. A sense of emptiness. But what is it I don't know. Now I further understand why we get less friends as we grow older... or is it only me? I realize I have what you call the phase-friends. Coz I know people from different phase of my life and through different settings but they do not mix. Sometimes when I relate what I think are interesting stuff to closer friends but they always dismiss them. Sometimes I do wonder is it me or is it them. I also realize I distance myself from friends/collegues. I have some trouble allowing people to know me. There are times when I hope that ppl will understand me but there are times where I don't wish to let them understand me. Contradicting right.
Alot of times I don't have any answer to my own questions. What you see may not be what I am. Somethings are difficult to share and esp me.... Some people will give a person they have just knew the benefit of doubt and give them their trust till they betray it. For me, I chose not to trust anyone till they earned my trust. But once they lost my trust....... It doesn't have to be a big betrayal or anything. Things can be as simple as I share something with you which I trust you tell no one but in the end you tell even just 1 person... the trust is gone. How long it will take for to regain the trust....I don't know...but the sure thing is it will not go back to the level it used to be. I don't know who to trust or who I can trust. The world is getting complicated, so am I.
Bonkers @ 6/24/2006 11:47:00 PM
