Arrghhhh!!! Am feeling veri down now.... suddenly everythign seems to be thrown in my direction. So many things to do yet so little time. I know that thigns muz be done but simply thinkign abt it gives me a headache....I dun noe where to start or rather I chose nt to start doing anything....as starting means I muz end...haiz... understand? Never mind if you dun.... haiz~
My chest realli feels veri heavy now...Pressure is piling up n sometimes I can't seem to breathe...I fell better onli after I sigh....which means I have stopped breathing for a few seconds. I read from somewhere that a person will unknowingly stop breathing for a few seconds when they are stressed up.
Projects are coming in....yes I noe..I noe I have loads to do but I dun feel so stressed until this evening when I got home from work. The moment I get home I got into some sort of a quarrel with my mother. She insisted that I did something (shall not elaborate...too difficult to describe in words) which I didn't. I HATE it when people say that I did something when I didn't. It's so yuan(1) wang(4) you noe....I HATE IT!! So I insisted that I didn't do it yet she insiste that I did. This is not the first time she did tat. Naturally I would get veri fed up n show a bu shaung face lah....den she use her same old tatic lor.... say "U dun be rude huh...dun da sheng with me... I say did it...not u den who else? U dun argue with me...muz be u forget liao..." WA KAOz!!!! 'hello...mind you, I'm like less than half your age...can my memory be worse than yours???? Always use the 'dun be rude wif me' tactic..... but I realli didn't do it wat!!! Y muz push the blame to me....IDIOTIC! I was so fed up that I insisted for the last time that I didn't n storm off to bath.... In the bathroom, tears dropped as I bathe.... I feel so so..... YUAN WANG !!!
So far I can say I dun cry easily....the times my tears dropped are when I feel so yuan wang...in situation like this! ARGGGHHHH.....dun say liao....the more I say the mpre fed up i get...
After this den I check my mail...n den I see NPCC TRAINING PROGRAMME from 1 of the Teacher Officers. I expect to see the training programme tat I've done but NO! It was a different one...another one that is done by the H.O. Kaoz..... Expect me to give first aid this Sat? 'hello? U tink I so free....sat muz teach now den tell me...I where got time to go n prepare??? U tink I 24 hrs on call izzit!' Shit man....stupid....All the things they plan for the cadets are like so advanced. You think they veri clever izzit...learn so fast ah...teach wat CPR to sec 2...crazy~ Even if the sec 2 learn CPR, how many chance doyou tink they can apply CPR?? I'm a certified Medical First Responder but till now I didn't have a chance to use my skill...n I'm an officer....so wat makes them think a sec 2 will have a chance to use it??? Want to teach also must teach practical things mah.... like leg cramp, heat exhaustion....these are more releated to them at their level...
All these T.O.....dun noe want to say them got brain or no brain...
Den always think they veri busy...I also veri busy one k!
Arrgghhh...so mani things to do....
System Analysis Assignment
Expressing Yourself Assignment
Project Management Practical
Principles of Management Tutorials
Event Drive Programming Practicals
NPCC Training Programme
Campcraft Training details
NCO Course Preparation (notes, food, accomodation)
Tuition -- never seen a kid so stupid one leh...kaoX
Work.....
EI Interest Club -- kinda forced to join one...haiz
On top of these, still muz study for quizes...tests...common tests... Haiz.... Muz maintain results...realli feel so tired at times...realli juz hope to sit n do nothing! When will this busy period be over? Will I be able to maintain my results for this semester? Will I be able to do my assignments well? ??????????? question mark question mark...so mani question marks!
I chose to escape to dreamland for now....I'll tackle everything tomorrow....I promise
12:28am
Bonkers @ 1/29/2004 12:28:00 AM
